install theme


Client asked for a realistic-looking female to be rendered as in their 90s. I send them the work only to hear back that she looks too old.

"We want her to be a ‘young’ looking elderly woman in her 90s. As if she was 70 or so. But 90."


Client: Could you please remove the drawing of the stick man? We’re getting complaints that it’s offending people.

Me: Offending people? How?

Client: He’s black.


Me: Hi, I’m just updating the copy for your form and was wondering if you meant to say ‘programs’ for the third question?

Client: NO. What I sent along was completely accurate, I wrote and edited it myself. Just copy it over exactly as it says, I’ll explain it nice and slowly for you. 

Me: ‘Please indicate which pogroms you’ve attended?’

Client: Yeah, that should be programs. 


A client hadn’t replied to my latest proof. I asked if he’d seen it yet, to which he replied: 

"There are too many words. I don’t like to read that much (nor do I have the time), and frankly, I don’t think other people do either"

There were literally seven words on the proof.  


Client: “We want the mascot more asexual.”

Me: “More asexual? It’s a girl.”

Client: “I know, but more asexual. Remove the pigtails. Fill out the middle area a bit.”

Me: “So you want a boy?”

Client: “Well, in a sense, yes”

Me: “Ok…”

Checking the Traffic  →


Me: (over the phone) “Are you busy right now?”

Client: “Sort of. I’m just checking the traffic in and out of our business.”

Me: “Oh good. We’ve been having a good couple of weeks, haven’t we? What kind of figures are you seeing?”

Client: “No one so far.”

Me: “That’s impossible, I checked…


Client: It says my username and password don’t match.

Me: Ok. Is the caps lock on?

Client: No.

Me: Are you sure? Because the password has to be in all lower case letters in order for it to work.

Client: I’m not stupid. The caps lock is not on. Just tell me how to fix my computer.

Me: Ok. Look right above the number pad on your keyboard. Are any of those lights lit?

Client: Yes, all of them, but that has nothing to do with the problem.

The pamphlet that my friend had done for him was great—that’s what I want ours to be like. It had a minimal design, and it smelled like waffle batter. Of course, it was for a waffle place, so the pamphlet had spent all its time around waffles, but still… I think we can make ours smell good somehow.

- (via clientsfromhell)